I constantly reassess where I am, where I want to go, and what do I need to change internally to make it happen.
For years I have held on to this image about what I want my life to be like, I set my goals and I thought that I would dig in my heels and do the work to make it happen. And I plodded and plodded, taking only the smallest steps toward that goal, and ever pushing on the obstacles to move them aside so my dream could happen.
The struggle caused immense stress for me. The need to reach that goal drove me to make some pretty dumb decisions.
The other morning I woke up and thought.. "Why do you have to be THAT definition? Do you really want that goal? Or was it something that was suggested to you and you have this fairy-tale idea about what kind of life surrounds a person with THAT definition?"
I then did something very very life changing.
I let go of the idea. I let go of the dream. I let go the dream of being a full time artist.
A few weeks later I noticed the tension about the future was gone. My focus shifted to something else and I am having fun doing it, and feeling fulfilled doing it as well.
And then....one weekend...I felt it- contentment
It was an awesome experience....I guess that is what bliss would be like. I love this feeling of looking out over my life and seeing the puzzle pieces fall in place. I love this feeling of casting off the things that seem to be unnecessary- physical things, ideologies......it is very freeing!
I feel like I am painting a much larger canvas.....my life. selecting the elements that I want in it and discarding the rest.
This will be my most creative venture yet!