I have had these three paintings sitting around the house for a year now. I'll pull them out and look at them and chook at a littl peice and loose the energy and put them back in the cupboard.......
Thought I was unable to finish them because I was blocked. But I think I am unable to finish them because I have grown beyond them, and the message they were meant to portray, no longer needs to be sent.
The one above depicts a grounded fairy, throwing away a broken heart, out of which comes a butterfly. Its very obvious, the message I mean...begun last year around this time as a deviant action against the way my relationship ended. It was begun to shift my focus from endings, and take it to new beginnings. I no longer need it. In looking at it the subject matter and the rendering of it seem so immature.
This second unfinished painting again for a year depicts an old plantation house. The intention was to surround it with Christmas lights in a rendering similar to Starry Sky (Yellow) which was done in the early 2000's aka Van Gogh's style. I was in a nostalgic mood, the house's shape being triggered by a portion of my grandmother's home in Arima, which no longer exists. But even so, nostalgia, though sweet, can sometimes have its bitter portions, and I question my reason for doing this piece.....did I really have something to say? Or was I just looking for easy acceptance, to fit into a genre of artists whose work is lapped up by the buying public? Now, I am not even sure if I wish to finish it..........
This third one began with a journey in mind. Flying carpet symbols taking the mind on a magical journey, with crystal ball and fortune cards to steer the direction. But even that theme has grown tired, with the realization that crystal balls and cards only show you what is already in your mind, and you magic carpet is a combination of touchstones and emotional well-being. I may finish it as a matter of course. But it no longer gives me that "Oh WOW. I did that?" feeling.
Clearly, I have grown beyond all of these themes. I feel the need for something deeper, something akin to mystery, something bordering on myth and classical like the works of the Pre-Raphealites....like John William Waterhouse. To get there, will require learning the style, understanding their language, going back to methods of rendering which I haven't used in years.....like taking a trip back to an old path which was not explored properly the first time.
And this is the end of the journey I have in mind...this rendering, with themes of Greek gods, Celtic wars, myths as yet untouched by the brush. And myths created which are applicable to the Caribbean psyche.....those heroes we need to see in order to get over our mental struggles...our fear of everything new...our fears of everything different.
There are many messages to portray in that regard...as we are going through a mental growth spurt as a country...the signs are there...but it would take the next ten years to realize how far we have grown.