Samantha Rochard

My creative process.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

The process ....along came Doubt.

Fifteenth Lotus Flower - Samantha Rochard from 100 Lotus Flowers
Actually.... I have done sixteen.... but the sixteenth feels like a throw back to school days... basically ah shame to even post it....but its the process, not the outcome.
And the mind starts up with its old tricks again....  hear it nuh:

Why you doing this again? Fuh what?


I am marking a transitional period.....a difficult transitional period right now..... need to keep my mind sane...need to keep you sane......
And who gives a rat's ass? Yuh acting like somebody cares..... nobody doh care....any body registering caring???


Needless to say, if my own mind trips me up like this...well..... you could see the battle I am having with myself. You know the shit. We all know. When you realize so and so getting 50 likes on Facebook for their artwork and you get two........ then you start to wonder why you need validation from the outside world about your transitional process???  When so and so has 50 followers and you have...well...not as many???? Is your work valid? Does it matter? Should it matter? Should it matter if it is valid to outsiders? Then if it doesn't matter, then why post it in a public forum?????

And that ladies and gentlemen, is the kind of argument going on in my mind.........maybe I should be on drugs.....my mind may shut up and leave me alone then........
Self -Doubt is a torturous jailer.

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